27: Affirmations that actually work
===
[00:00:00]
Jo: Hello, beautiful soul. And welcome back to the podcast. I have a pretty serious question to ask you. Have you ever tried affirmations and just felt like they didn't work for you. You set all of the alarms, you set a reminder that goes off that says I am a money magnet. And when that reminder goes off, you're supposed to say that affirmation. A few times out loud or in your mind. And every time you say that affirmation, you just have this like alarm that goes off in your head. That's like, um, bullshit. No, you're not, and you never will be right. Anybody else? Experienced that, or is it just me? This is what I was doing in 2018. I had just discovered manifestation and affirmations. And I was like brand new to this world, even though I had been doing all of this naturally my entire life.[00:01:00] I have stories upon stories, upon stories of things that I have written and have just come true. That's the reason that I stopped writing because when all of that stuff started to come true, I was not in the very best head space. So I was writing about some pretty dark things. But then I found out about manifestation. At first I thought it was like this magical thing. I followed the advice of some of the manifestation teachers that I had found online. And one of those things was to say, affirmations. What I believed about these affirmations. When I first started doing them, was that if I said them, I would start to believe them. And the thing was, I would say them. And I would say them and I would say them and every time I said them, my BS meter was just going crazy. I didn't believe that I could be a money magnet. I didn't believe that everything was possible for me. I didn't believe that I could have anything that I wanted, that I was deserving or worthy, even of having anything [00:02:00] that I wanted. So I gave up on affirmations. I turned off all of my alarms and I just said, oh, they don't work for me. They just don't work. How wrong I was. The thing is, there's not a whole lot of information out there about how to do affirmations correctly. How to say affirmations correctly. I don't even know if I really know how to word that, but how to make affirmations really work for you. I feel like that's doing a lot of people, a disservice, because so many of us are going to have the same experience that I did when saying affirmations. Trying to change our life and having our BS meter go off. And immediately reject the affirmation. So, let me give you the low down on how affirmations work. I am sure that there's been a point in your life where you have told yourself or somebody else has told you something about yourself over and over and over and [00:03:00] over again and eventually you start to believe it. There's a point where a lie can become your truth if you tell yourself that thing that lie over and over and over again. It's like, In a toxic relationship speaking from experience. And you can be told that nobody else is ever going to love you as much as that other person does. Or that nobody's going to love you because you have two kids with two different dads. And at first you might not believe it. Right. You know, inherently that that's not true. But after a while, after being told that thing over and over again, It starts to become your truth. So in these situations, there are a few things that are present. The first thing, being the words, being the statement. The second thing is the feeling behind the statement, the feeling that's tied to the statement. And the third is repetition. All [00:04:00] affirmations have to have these things present. The words that are used. The feeling or the emotion tied to those words or beliefs and the repetition. Most of us are lacking that feeling or that emotion tied to the belief? I know I was. All I had when I was trying to use those affirmations, like I am a money magnet. Everything is always gonna work out for me. I am worthy of everything that I desire when I was using those affirmations. And setting my alarm and saying them throughout the day. I had no emotion tied to it. Just my BS meter going off, that's saying Nope. Nope. That's a lie. It's not the truth at all. You're not worthy of that. So how are these beliefs going to sink in to our subconscious. If we don't have that emotion tied to it. In order for affirmations to work for you. We need to have the statement. We need to have a feeling tied to that statement. And we need to have the repetition. The [00:05:00] reason that I'm using such an extreme example of a toxic relationship is because it's easiest to see that the feeling is tied to the statement. And it's the feeling that helps everything sink deep into your unconscious mind. And I want you to understand also that this goes both ways. We can have something amazing and an amazing feeling sink into our unconscious mind also. I know that the majority of us I have probably been in a situation like this or have known somebody in a situation like this. And can see firsthand how somebody's telling you something over and over and over again and having that emotion tied to it can sink into the subconscious mind, how you can really start to believe that. And I know that the majority of us probably haven't had the experience of somebody being super positive and telling us something super positive over and over and over again, with [00:06:00] emotion to attach to it. So I wanted to use a real life example so that you can see and understand how this is actually sinking into your mind. So that you can understand how affirmations are actually working and it works both ways. It works with more negative things and it works with really positive things. You just have to have that emotional attachment to it. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to make a list of affirmations. The ones that I started with the second time around the second time I decided to give affirmations a go using this technique that I'm going to share with you. I started with, I love myself. I believe in myself. And I am a winner. So you take those three. And say them slowly. Deliberately bonus points if you say it looking in the mirror at yourself, and that can be a pretty hard one. So. Say them slowly. At least three times. Slowly and [00:07:00] deliberately, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. Can you feel the difference? Each time you say it, you tap deeper and deeper into that emotion and it might feel a little weird at first. That's okay. But when you say it slowly, say it deliberately, you're able to attach a feeling to it more easily. So I love myself. I believe in myself. I believe in myself. I believe in myself. Yes, I freaking do. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. And then you can use this technique with what ever affirmations that you choose. When going online and looking for affirmations, what I recommend you do is to [00:08:00] find affirmations that you resonate with. Leave affirmations that you don't resonate with. Try them on. If it doesn't feel good tweak it. Make it your own, make it feel good for you. I am a money magnet never really felt good to me. I am wealthy and always feels really good to me. So just choose what feels good to you. If there's something that you really want to believe that doesn't feel good to you right now, maybe try a step of affirmation. What I mean by step up affirmation is. If say for example, I am wealthy in all ways you want to believe, but when you say that it feels. Really icky and really yucky to you right now and your critical faculty is like, Nope. That's a lie. How about try I am learning to be wealthy in all ways, or I am on my way to being wealthy in all ways. Or I am allowing myself to be wealthy in all ways. [00:09:00] That helps to bridge the gap because when we're talking about the critical faculty, it's the part of your mind that is formed about the age of seven. So up to the age of seven, you are a walking subconscious mind you're soaking in everything that's going on around you at face value and that forms your perception of the world. That critical faculty forms and divides the conscious mind from the unconscious mind. So up to the age of seven, you are a walking subconscious mind taking in everything around you soaking it up like a sponge and then the critical faculty is formed and now you have the conscious mind where you're able to rationalize and differentiate between things as being a one time occurrence or the way that everything works. But up to the age of seven, everything is just the way that it is and that's how your beliefs are formed. So, if you see your parents arguing about money, [00:10:00] often you formed the belief that money causes fights and that money is bad and money is going to cost strife in relationships, even though your logical mind when you are older, can differentiate and see that this is its own special circumstance and that not everybody fights about money to your unconscious mind up to the age of seven that's forming how you interpret the world. So these beliefs become a lodged in your subconscious mind, and luckily we can change them. You don't have to live with them forever. This is something that I help my students with in REIGN, my group program, that's starting for the next round in September, I'm really, really excited about it. Because we get to really uncover these beliefs that are in our unconscious mind that might truly surprise us. And when you get deep, when you start digging and uncovering and transforming these beliefs [00:11:00] once you transform on the inside your external reality shifts as well because you're changing the filters. And when you change what's on the inside the outside catches up. It's a really, really beautiful process.
And it can be a very daunting process. If you're trying to go at it alone without any guidance, you don't know where to start. And you don't know what to do with these beliefs once you've uncovered them. So that is why I created REIGN because REIGN is the program that I wish that I had had during my deepest, most transformational work. Because I really became my own best client. And that's really a story for another time, anyway. So your critical faculty as formed to separate the conscious mind from the unconscious mind and to kind of police what gets into the unconscious mind. So if you have a belief that you're not worthy, What is going to be able to get into the subconscious mind [00:12:00] is anything that reinforces the fact that you believe that you're not worthy. But if you believe that you are worthy as fuck. What gets into your unconscious mind is anything that supports your belief that you are worthy as fuck. So what we want to do is start to comb through all of our beliefs. We do that in REIGN, like I said, But just to get started with affirmations. If you felt like they didn't work for you in the past. Give this a try and let me know how it feels for you. It's going to require repetition because we are working with the conscious mind and trying to get things to sink into the unconscious mind. So what we're doing with the repetition, with the emotion is kind of chipping away at the critical faculty. And each time you say this affirmation, each time you feel it deeply. It chips a little bit more away at the critical faculty until it's finally able [00:13:00] to break through and sink into the unconscious mind. That's where it becomes a belief. Try it out with your own affirmations too. Of course, give it a little bit of time. You can even write it out. There was a point in time where I would say the affirmations slowly a couple of times, and then I would write an entire page of the affirmation just. Uh, one after another, after another, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I have entire pages in journals where it's just an affirmation repeated for the entire page. And I really tried to feel into that affirmation feel into it as being true, feel into it as if I really did love myself. And now I do. So they do work. They can work. It just needs to be done with emotion. We have to have that emotional aspect because the emotional aspect ties us [00:14:00] into our body makes it more important to us. If something that we say doesn't have any emotion, it doesn't register as important. So go ahead and try that on, try it out. Let me know how it feels for you. And I hope to see you in the next round of REIGN. As always, I love you and I will talk to you next week.
