19: Is perfectionism stealing your glory?
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Jo: Hello, beautiful soul, and welcome back to the podcast. Today, we're going to talk about perfectionism and how perfectionism can hold you back because this showed up in my life recently. More often than not the [00:01:00] things that I share are directly related to experiences that I've had, or I've experienced the lesson firsthand, and this one showed up for me over the past couple of weeks when I was putting together the Grant Your Own Wishes challenge and changing up all of the branding and refilming for my signature group program called REIGN. So, what I noticed was that while I have worked on perfectionism and being able to put things out before I feel like they are entirely perfect because I used to work and rework and rework and rework until I thought things were absolutely perfect, and it would end up taking me entirely too long. Even though the finished product that I had was just fine and could be refined for the next round. Or it would completely hinder me from completing the project in the first place. It would[00:02:00] go live in like this project graveyard where all of my projects ended up because I didn't feel like they were perfect. Now in middle school, I was rewarded for being a perfectionist and home-ec, I got an award. A perfectionist award because my stitching on our project was quite literally perfect. Because I did it and redid it. I pressed, I was very meticulous in how I was sewing this project together. I took pride in that for a little bit, but it wasn't until I was older that I realized that this perfectionism is a. Symptom it's a trauma response. It's trying to be perfect. Because in order to get love, I felt when I was growing up that I had to be perfect. In order to receive recognition I had to be perfect. Everything that came from me had to be [00:03:00] perfect. And being the ADHDer I am with rejection sensitive dysphoria any time I felt like somebody didn't think that my work was good enough. It was like the end of the world. Anytime that I would receive critiques on something. Anytime that I would receive criticism, even constructive criticism on something. It was the end of the world because I didn't put out a perfect product in the beginning. To start with, I didn't have a perfect product and the feedback that I would get would. Tear me up inside because I didn't produce the quality of work that they were expecting the first time around. And that really tore at my heart. I would ruminate over the comments over the feedback. For days. I would tear myself apart for days over a single comment. And [00:04:00] luckily I have grown through this, I have learned through this. I've done a lot of work around this and people not liking me. People not liking my work is not nearly as big of a deal now, as it was in the past. But even still over the last couple of weeks, while I've been putting together and presenting the Grant Your Own Wishes challenge and redoing all of the branding for REIGN and redoing the entire course, essentially. It's got a whole new structure. I found myself either procrastinating and hitting a wall like a creative block because I didn't know if what I was going to be able to produce would be up to par, and I don't even know what measuring stick I'm using for this right. It's just this imaginary standard that I'm trying to live up to that one doesn't exist and two [00:05:00] doesn't matter anyway, even if it were to exist, because I know that I put out quality products. I know that I have a wealth of information inside of me it just needs to come out onto paper, and I love putting together beautiful designs. So I know on a logical level that I'm going to put out a quality product and it's going to be great. Even if there are typos or something gets missed, there's an extra page in the workbook, whatever that may be. But on a subconscious level, I was hitting a wall because that subconscious belief is still hanging around despite all of the work that I've done around it. It's loosened up quite significantly, let me just tell you, but it's still kind of there. And this challenge and putting together REIGN has really shown me not only how far I've come, but also that there still is a little bit of work to do around this. This is [00:06:00] how I learn personally. In human design my profile line is a six two, so the first 30 years of my life, I live as a three, which means the three profile loves to learn through experimentation and they try all of the things. You can't tell them nothing they're going to do what they want to do, and they're going to learn their own way, and most of the time is the hard way. The first 30 years of my life, that was me to a T. You could give me all of the advice in the world and I might take it, but I was still going to do what I had on my heart to do. It's through these experiences and experimentation that I really learn. Supposedly after. After the 30th birthday, I am transitioning into you at my six. Because six is for the first 30 years of their life live as a three and now I'm 30. So. Transitioning into the six is transitioning into the role of a teacher. I feel [00:07:00] that I've always had that in me. I've always wanted to share my knowledge and share what I know. And now I get to take all of my life experience and share it with everybody because I have learned so much and I'm still learning. I continued to learn. These past couple of weeks have really shown me that there still is a little bit of work to do, but I've come so far. That's really comforting. There was good feedback for the grant your own wishes challenge. That was kind of a revamp of the raise your vibe challenge. We talked a little bit about the energetics, which was what the Raise Your vibe challenge was all about. But in the grant your own wishes challenge, will you really focused on the manifestation process. The new paradigm manifestation that is more focused on inner transformation to create outer transformation. It was really well received. I have never been live that long for three days in a row. It was [00:08:00] insane. There was so much information and so much of my heart and my soul and my wisdom that I poured into this challenge. This has definitely challenged that I will do again. Because I had so much fun doing it. Once I got past that creative block, it was like, I got into my flow and everything just kind of poured out of me. I was able to create all the slides looked beautiful. And I'm Really grateful, really grateful for the experience and the chance to reflect upon that experience. So when it comes to perfectionism, There are little sayings like done is better than perfect and stuff like that that's supposed to help you get over perfectionism, but if you have perfectionism and it comes from this deep seated place, if it comes from the deep seated subconscious belief. It's really more than just perfectionism. It's this belief that [00:09:00] if you aren't perfect, you won't be loved. If you aren't perfect, you won't be valued. Your worth is very much tied into the quality of the work that you produce. And if that's you. You're not alone. I've been there. And I'm here to tell you that. Even if these little sayings like done is better than perfect and you can make those little small steps, small strides every once in awhile. I promise you with a little bit of time, a little bit of love, a little bit of TLC. You can begin to loosen up the perfectionism, you can begin to start taking messy action. You can love what you put out, even if it's not completely perfect. And that's a big deal. Right because perfectionism keeps us from doing so much. That we know that we would love to do. So if you struggle with perfectionism, and know that it doesn't have to be something that you continue to define yourself [00:10:00] as. You can make the decision at any time to begin to take control and to begin loosening up the perfectionism that you have. So that is it. That is all that I have for today. I am really all talked out for this week and last week, but I hope that you've had a beautiful week. If you tuned into the Grant Your Own wishes challenge. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It was such a fun time. I had so much fun. Interacting and answering all of the questions that I got. If you're joining me in REIGN, I am so excited to get started. We officially start on Monday. So today the day that this episode drops, we are starting our June round of REIGN. Holy smokes. If you want to get in on the next round or want to know when I open doors for the next round of REIGN go ahead and send me an email. Let me know that you want on the wait [00:11:00] list and I will put you on the waitlist so that you will be first to know when the next round of REIGN launches. All right. And with that, I will sign off. So I'll see you next week. Bye.
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