3: The "F" Word that will set you Free
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Jo: Hello, my loves. This week's topic is near and dear to my heart. Just like all of them are really, the title of this podcast is the F word that will set you free. And no, I'm not talking about that F word. [00:01:00] The F word that I'm talking about is forgiveness. now hear me out. Okay. The forgiveness practice that I'm going to share with you later on in this episode is not your mama's forgiveness practice. We're not gonna be writing letters to the people who need our forgiveness. We're not gonna be praying for it.
No, this is a much deeper forgiveness practice. It's not surface level at all, and it's one of the first things that I assign my clients when I start working with them because it frees up so much energetic space. So I want to share with you, first, why this topic is so important to me and how it's going to help you manifest.
And then I'll share with you at the end the practice that I personally do. I remember very clearly that first time that I ever sat down and truly practiced forgiveness. I had picked up this self-development book and it was broken down into days and each day had a small assignment for you to do and the forgiveness [00:02:00] assignment for this particular day was to write down all of the things in the past that you could think of that you were holding onto resentment or anger, or just made you feel some type of way, or things that you knew that you were withholding forgiveness from.
And the size of these things didn't matter. It could be as small as somebody cutting you off in traffic or
saying your name wrong in elementary. , right. So it doesn't matter how big these things are. So this particular day I was at Drill when I was in the Air Force Reserve and on one of my breaks I went out to the smoke shack because that's the only place that we could really get a break. And I sat down with my journal in the book, open on my phone, and I started writing down anything that I could think of that I was withholding forgiveness, that I was holding onto resentment or anger, or just any ugh, feelings around these situations or things that I could remember. I wrote it all down and some of it was really silly, like [00:03:00] when my elementary school coach used to call me Blue Jay, and it just felt really creepy and weird and I didn't like it, but I did my best not to judge myself for what came up. I just let everything flow out of me. And when I got back to the hotel after work,
I actually did the forgiveness practice that I'll share with you at the end of the episode and at the time I couldn't tell you what kind of magic or sorcery I had just done, but I felt so much lighter and so amazing afterwards. Like I had literally let go of everything that I had been holding onto and I didn't know at that time I had just freed up so much energetic space.
Because when we hold onto things, we're keeping that space occupied. Nothing new can come in if that space is occupied. Right? It's like having a car in your garage and wanting to park a new car in your garage, but you can't park that new car in your garage because there's already a car in there.
You have to take that first car out [00:04:00] in order to park the new car in your garage. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, so when I think back on everything now that's happened in my life, I can connect so many dots, you know, because hindsight is 2020. But when we're going through it, things can sometimes just feel so dense and you can't see the forest through the trees.
And looking back now, I can clearly pinpoint the catalyst to my very first spiritual awakening. And I say first I feel like I've had several throughout my life because I've.
I have been introduced to the spiritual world, and then I got really scared multiple times and suppressed it, or I suppressed it because of the people that I was around at the time. I grew up in the Bible belt and spirituality was a big no-no. You were either Christian or you were like disowned essentially.
That's what it felt like. So anyway, back on track. I can clearly pinpoint this one Buddhist quote, this one day [00:05:00] I remember very clearly. Going on Google. I don't remember what I searched, if I'm being completely honest. It was probably like Buddhist quotes, but I was pregnant with my son at the time.
He's now almost 12, and his father and I had broken up. I didn't want to hold onto resentment or anger towards him for the rest of my life because I knew that he was gonna be in my life in some way for the next 18 years. And I didn't want those years to be miserable. So I was looking really for anything that was going to gimme some sort of peace.
And Christianity just wasn't doing it for me at the time. So I came across this quote that was something along the lines of holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot stone with the intent of throwing it at another person. You're the one who ultimately gets burned.
And since then I've heard this quote. Another way that goes a little something like holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to [00:06:00] die. Either way, you're the one who ultimately gets hurt because the other person doesn't care, So at that point in time, I had forgiven my son's father and I made a commitment to myself to no longer hate.
I was going to cut that word out of my vocabulary and out of my life. Anytime that the word hate came up, like, oh, I hate that, or, or hate when he does that, I would stop myself and correct myself and say, no. Do I really hate that or do I just dislike it? because there's a clear difference.
And for me, hate is a very, very strong word. And it was a very low vibrational word and state for me. So I didn't want to feel that anymore.
This was also my very first experience with being able to reprogram the mind. Since then I've learned a lot and I've learned about spiritual bypassing and emotional bypassing. And I don't teach that to my clients anymore.
I think that a lot of people [00:07:00] do go through this stage where it's like this whole high vibes only, and
we're only gonna feel the positive. We're only going to speak positive. I think that's a stage that everybody kind of goes through and. I'm not saying that that's a terrible thing. I think that is a necessary stage for a lot of us because there's a lot of things that you can learn from that stage, and once you are in that stage and have learned the things to learn from that stage, and you essentially graduate to the next level. You realize that those things that you learned in that stage and the coping mechanisms that you learned in that stage, while they did serve you for a while, they're not sustainable.
so while I don't agree with that way of Thinking or doing things anymore. It did serve me at that point in time and I know that it does serve people on their journeys. However, that's not the way of thinking that I subscribe to anymore because our emotions are here to teach us things. Our [00:08:00] emotions are here to be felt, they're energy in motion, and we'll do a whole podcast episode on emotions themselves.
But for now, I just wanted to insert that because at the time those tools did serve me, I was in a very, very dark place. And just by eliminating or hatred from my vocabulary and catching myself every time I sunk to that level, I was able to reprogram my mind and recalibrate my energetic level,
I had done a lot of work without realizing it at the time, and I had freed up. So much energetic space just by doing that forgiveness work that I was really doing for myself, that I was really doing very selfishly because I no longer wanted to be miserable. So that day with the Buddhist quote, I was still pregnant with my son. between that day and the day of the forgiveness ritual with the personal development book and the smoke shack, that spanned about five years. That forgiveness ritual that I did, I [00:09:00] realized that I was still holding on to a little bit of resentment a little bit of residual stuff that had just been lingering
And that forgiveness ritual was able to clear up all of the rest of that stuff because when you're able to cut those ties and you no longer have energy leaking to those things, whether you're conscious of it or not. . Once those cords or ties are cut, you stop giving your energy away to those things and forgiveness has the power to release you from those ties, to heal all of those little pieces of you and call back all of the energy that you had been giving to those other things. And it feels really, really good. This isn't about calling people up from your past or going to see people or revisiting or reliving any of these memories,
So don't worry, that's not what this forgiveness practice is about
But when you've done this and you call back all of your energy and heal all of those little pieces, I want you to picture yourself as a glass of water, and each of these little [00:10:00] things that you're holding onto anger or resentment or withholding forgiveness is a little crack in your glass. Some of them might be so tiny that you can't even see them, but they're still allowing a little bit of water to get through those crack.
and even if you keep filling up your cup with water, keep filling it up, you're still leaking water everywhere.
You no longer have the capacity to hold all of the water that you're putting. By practicing forgiveness, you're able to heal all of those little cracks in your glass. When you do that, you free up so much of your energy and you're able to actually hold it. You then can redirect and use that energy towards the things that you're wanting to call into your life that you're wanting to manifest, or just simply putting that energy out into places where you want it to be.
So for this practice, I want you to go ahead and grab your journal or a piece of paper and something to write with.
And then I want you to number your paper from one to 25 more if you can think [00:11:00] of more, but at least 25 things that you can think of that need to be forgiven
It can be as small as a person who cut you off in traffic the other day, or that one time you went to the store when you were little and your parents said that you couldn't have something and it made you really, really upset or getting on a stage and forgetting your lines from a play in kindergarten.
It doesn't matter how big or small it is, if you're still holding onto it and still feel some kind of way when you think about it, write it down and then the practice that I'm going to take you through is my version of the Hawaiian practice of Ho'oponopono. So go ahead and pause me for a minute until you have everything written down and then press play.
Now that you have everything written down for each thing that you've written on your list, I want you to read the item that you've written, bring it to mind, feel it, but don't feel it for too long and then say four things. I'm sorry I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. Now let me explain the [00:12:00] reason behind each one of these statements before we actually start doing this.
Okay.
Number one, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for holding onto this. Apologize to yourself for holding onto this and apologize to the other person for holding onto this. Apologize to the situation. I'm sorry. And feel it. two, I forgive you. This isn't just about forgiving the other person or situation for what they did or what happened.
This is about forgiving yourself for holding onto it, for paying so much attention to it, for leaking energy to it. This is more for you than it is for the other person, but by forgiving yourself and forgiving them, it cuts that tie and really feel into the forgiveness aspect of it. Okay. I forgive you. I forgive you as in them and yourself.
Three. Thank you. Thank yourself for loving yourself enough to let go of the situation [00:13:00] to forgive this for honoring yourself enough to neutralize it. Thank the other person for the lessons that they may have allowed you to learn , and if nothing else, thank them for the opportunity to practice forgiveness.
Number four, I love you. Now, this isn't a romantic love. This is sending yourself and the other person or the situation love and healing. Those little pieces of yourself that have been hurt, that have been constricted or restricted in any way.
This is about sending love and kindness to all of those little pieces.
This is about understanding that no matter how we feel about it, everybody was doing the best that they could with what they had, the resources they had, the knowledge they had, the beliefs that they held at the time. Now, for each item on your list, read that item and say, I'm sorry, I forgive you, thank you, I love you.
I'm [00:14:00] sorry I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. I am sorry I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.
And when you're done, just notice how different you're feeling. The practice may have brought up a few tears. You might initially even feel heavier than when you started, and that's normal. Whatever you're feeling is perfect, allow your body to process.
drink a lot of water. Give yourself time and space to rest. Give yourself grace and let me know how this practice has helped you. All of my social media channels are linked in the show notes. Send me a DM or send me a comment or join our free Rise Empire community and let us know how you're feeling, because I promise you forgiveness will set you fucking free.
All right. That is it for this episode. I love you. Drink your water and I'll see you in the next one.
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